By: Dolly Carlos
dollycarlos@yahoo.com
December 15, 2003

A lot of women who live abroad tend to lead an isolated existence away from their families and friends, when they first immigrate. Later, they may find a job or have children and then there is no going back, their fate is sealed for better or worse. Their relatives and friends may think they are better off, leading a life of luxury and abundance. If only these people knew the truth.

This article addresses those women who are still struggling to survive each day in an alien world which has no compassion or regard for what they believe in or stand for. These women who are bound by their upbringing to stay and face any adversity without taking the option of retreat, need to be talked about.

As in all scenerios, there are exceptions among immigrant women, who have found all they ever wanted when they came to live in the land of opportunities. Whose parents bought them a house and funded their education. However most women are not so fortunate.

This article`s setting is Toronto, the city famous for being the multi-cultural mecca of Canada. While riding the rocket (subway), one encounters a daily sea of faces revealing a profusion of multi-layered society traveling through rush hour in an over crowded compartment, visually spectacular is the great blend of skin tones from pale creamy pink, yellow, mocca, olive to an irridiscent black. In general, things coulden't look any better. However, it is sad to see some of the people in this train around us are shy, unsure, (mostly women) trying to ask which stop is their stop, and the person they question turns and tells them to look at the map printed on top of the entrance.

These lost and lonely women coming from gregarious and friendly cultures find it hard to comprehend the offhand detached attitudes that is inherent among people living in the west. They cannot understand the paranoid superficial relationships of the western cultures, and although they find it quite abhorent, are later forced to adopt it despite their own objections, so that they may fit in with "the crowd".

The key factors associated with an immigrant woman`s suffering: -

- Their spouses are insensitive to their feelings of isolation and loneliness. These men having settled in the western world for a long time are no help as they cannot understand the discrimination these women face in society as a whole.

- Employers don`t hire these women because they have no relevant experience in this country. They face constant rejections.

- Their educational qualification has no bearing as the western markets are closed to most foreign professionals. A new immigrant has to obtain licenses for almost all things that they want to practice. Eg: Real Estate agent needs a license, Doctor needs a license, Engineer needs a license, Lawyer needs a license, a Builder needs a license, Teacher needs a license. It is not enough to take exams to qualify, people are required to study, take courses and apprentice for several years before they are licensed. For immigrants who need financial sustenance going back to school and getting an education is not an option.

- Their quality of life in many situations is down-graded. For example: A chartered accountant with a thriving business in their home country, immigrates and then is forced to work as a book keeper. They may earn relatively better salaries than what they had in their country of origin, but the quality of life in discussion here relates to their down-grading in terms of professional prestige, and essentially self image.

A lot of immigrant women suffer immeasurable blows to their self worth and esteem while they try so hard to fit in, try to learn the new technical and technological skills one must master in order to survive in this society. For example, a woman with an MBBS, may not know anything about computers at all, mainly because she did not need it in her profession in the country of origin. A math teacher, may not ever get a chance to teach here, because she needs to get a license first, or her English does not meet the "standards" of this society.

It is painful to witness an immigrant woman`s constant struggle to combat depression and sense of futility. They come with such high hopes to this part of the world, but when they apply for jobs they are turned down constantly due to lack of experience in this country. They are made to feel less worthy than those who have the Canadian/ North American experience.

There have been innumerable cases where highly educated women frustrated due to the new country of residence` laws governing their qualification have committed suicide. Others remain under employed or cross employed or just plain unemployed.

It is apparent that the western society does not want to hold these women`s hands and teach them the ropes, employers want skilled, smart employable people who can be hired for less than what the market hiring rate is. Government agencies do not support training programs which will help these women get jobs they want instead they are forced to accept stupid and unrealted courses that will enable them to procure pink ghetto jobs without chances of advancement or satisfaction.

If employed, these immigrant women still feel isolated as they are unable to bond with others due to the cultural differences and competitive nature of the western society, where each worker is asked to keep an eye on the other and snitch about any shortcomings of the fellow employee.

So, my question to all the readers of this article is:

What can we, as a society, a community DO to alleviate some of these women` suffering. How can we make them feel worthwhile, respected and made to feel like intelligent productive individuals, who matter in this society?

I personally feel that we need to promote awareness among women and caution them to be careful in choosing where they live and what are the consequences of their choices. Immigrating women need to actually come and maybe live for atleast 3 months before they commit to a marriage/work contract where they will end up becoming educationally and racially sub-ordinate to others.

A proactive, positive approach slowly being adopted by NGO`s, is to form an all encompassing woman`s network which raises awareness in society so that programs are put in place which help women by training and financing them in their area of expertize and find jobs for them that they want and are qualified for. However due to lack of funds and government support these NGO`s are restricted in who they can help.

Dolly Carlos